PS- you can't speak Sign Language

SO, I got my mission call- correction, the Lord's call- last Friday! Looks like I'm needed in San Fernando, California. Catch, you'll preaching in American Sign Language. This is perfect the "ideal mission" as my mom likes to call it. I need to know sign language for my major, Special Ed. I'm not going foreign, so my mom doesn't have to be concerned for me dying on my mission, right? California, gorgeous year round. My best friend Sydney wanted ASL speaking, so bad... so I should be thrilled about it right? Okay, don't start judging me, cuz I AM thrilled! It's just, k, judge me computer I dare you, but I don't do well with rich people. Send me to some humble people and I will love them. They have nothing, I have nothing, it works perfect. I feel comfortable with them and are welcome to share part of my soul with them. But, California, I'm near like HOLLYWOOD!! I can fake confidence, but these people are movie stars and I'm gonna kill them!!!! I don't want to share the gospel with these snotty-nose rich brats! They're not gonna want to hear me! Alma 26:11-I am nothing, but God is all so I will boast of my God. That's my scripture, that's me. How can I face these beach-blonde perfect worldy people and share a part of my tender testimony with them? They're NOT gonna want to listen to me,; I'm not like them. And yes, ASL is perfect for my major, that is great, but they don't understand!! The Deaf Culture is, so different. It's either I'm gonna make it in there or they're not gonna want to accept me at all. Sydney is better at signing then I ever was- so was Cory and Rachel. And even if I get good at it, because I know the Spirit can make marvelous things happen, I'm gonna have to leave these people. I LOVE people; I give 'em my heart. I'm not sappy, but I WILL love and protect and take care of them forever. Bring on the storm, I won't leave ya. But I'm gonna be traveling everywhere, and what if I have to give up people?? I don't want to give up investigators!! I can speak English, I know English, I feel confident that through the Spirit, I can bring in the right atmosphere to make them feel something. What if I have to give them up to "English speaking" missionaries? I just have to keep reminding myself that they are the Lord's children. If they reject me, they are rejecting Him. And they are His children, and I'm supposed to teach the ones He NEEDS me to teach, not who I want to teach. They are all His children. It's just, if I'm being honest with myself and you, I'm scared of a people that could so easily reject me. If I'm not good enough. If they don't catch my sincerity. I'm tough when I need to be, but I'm passionate and emotional ina way that I cannot NOT connect with you in some way. Its gonna be okay, no its gonna be great, I know that. And I love the Lord, specifically He gave me this mission because although it seems easy enough to everyone else, He KNOWS this is gonna work me through the fire, but I can't wait to see the diamond afterwords. Thanks, I love you Heavenly Father, and thanks, for knowing what I need, not what I desire.