Goals vs Dreams

So, I went on this date with this black kid I met on the bus named Billy. That... was an interesting date, no ice cream, just talked on the balcony, held my hand, leaned on my neck, tried to kiss me... Yeah. Ignoring those weird parts, when I would talk, he would sincerely listen to me. He asked me about my goals and aspirations, and it really got me thinking. I know I'm going into Special Education, it always fit, but I've really kinda sat down and thought out what my dreams are and what my goals are (2 very different things). "Dreams can inspire you, but goals can change your life."
Well, my goal is to be a high school special education teacher. Logically, it is hard to explain a dream, since it is more than desire that is driving you. For me, it was thrown out to me as an option, and the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to fit me. God gave me the gift of charity, and I have always been able to sincerely love those who struggle to be accepted in this world. I want to inspire people, always have always will. I can connect with people, listen to them and see their perspectives. And I am tough. Maybe not as the world sees it but I can take care of myself, and that is mandatory for this job. It is uncommon if a Special Needs teacher doesn't end up in the ICU at the hospital a few times every few years. It may sound like a sweet, innocent job, and it definitely has its rewards. However, you cannot be a sappy emotional girl when dealing with mentally handicapped kids, who are more often then not much bigger and much stronger than you. I've always wanted to teach, "when you can't do, teach," right? Nah, I really just feel like I could go home every day and know that I helped make a difference in the world, even if it is forgotten tomorrow. Plus with my ASL mission and all, I just, I feel like I was made for this job.
Anyhow, okay, so my Dreams in a nutshell are:

• Marry my Jim Craig
• Have my own dogs/horses
• Have five kids- three boys, two girls
• Teach Special Ed kids in a high school
• Own a boat
• Get a swing
• Have a cabin
• Attempt surfing
• Drive a jeep
• Travel
• Become a phenomenal ukulele playa

My goals in a nutshell are:

• Serve an LDS mission
• Marry in the temple
• Earn my degree
• Have a family
• Work with Special Needs kids
• Serve a couple mission
• Love every enemy
• Have my boys serve God
• Die before my husband
• Reach the highest degree of glory in the Celestial kingdom
• Become like my Father

Brooke... When did cross a line?

So, for Halloween, I went down to Brooke's (even though I was going to go to the dance and try and meet up with Dane) but she said she'd hook me up with this cute kid and we could double with her and her boyfriend Jordan. So, I get down there, and it turns out that two other people were gonna come down. They apparently were just "friends"... Lie. They were most definitely a couple. So then there's two couples, and me... awesome. So we carve pumpkins, and I do my best to be a good sport and not weird about it. Yeah, ha. Funny. Afterwards, we decide to watch a movie. Haha, even better. So they start seriously looking into scary movies, and I'm convinced that I won't be able to do it. The other girls had some boy to hold on to, not the loser sittin in the corner against the wall. Finally, we settle for Ghostbusters. Ok, I can do ghostbusters. False- they start snuggling on the couch while the other two are on the beanbag doing the same thing, so I shoot brooke a text. We come up with an excuse to go outside to the cars. We get up on the deck and holds me and keeps apologizing while I struggle to keep it together. She didn't mean to. She didn't get it. Told her it wasn't on purpose, but I had to go. So much for sleepover, I was going home. So its about eleven thirty-ish and I sit in my car and call Aaron once, twice, shoot a text, call again. Nothin. I was so frustrated and upset. So I drove through the canyon around midnight, parked at McDonalds, got a fry, and called Aaron crying. He's cute, but he didn't know what to say. I didn't know what he could say. Its just lonely, and I missed him, I missed being held. Made it home around 1. Then today (Saturday, November 2) We went up for Ann's baptism. I sang, and didn't completely botch it so that was nice. But Brooke came up with Jordan. I was fine, til I looked out the window of Brooke's room and watched them. They seriously looked married with Nathan and Adam as their kids. Throwing leaves in eachother's faces, down shirts, and he was always constantly rubbing her back. She wouldn't leave his side. Psh, I wouldn't either. I am happy for her, I don't mean to sound like I'm not. Its just, difficult because now we're choosing separate paths, and right now I'm sacrificing while she's loving it. It'll swap I know, and I don't regret anything. Merely, right now its just hard to watch her and see how it could've been with me.

Suck it up, Buttercup

Okay, I apologize ahead at this time. If you continue reading, it is at your own default. But I'm gonna kill my roommate. Roommates. I really am. If there's one thing I cannot STAND, it is pessimists. They critique girls for being so judgmental with their gossip, but all they do is razz on them and razz on people. THEY'RE the snobs, right along with the people they are judging. (Wow, I know I sound like such a hypocrite at this time. Judge not. I am not perfect. I screw up right along if not a ton more than a lot of people. I can be a dumb blonde and I am often wrong and most of the time do not know the whole story. I accept that.) Here's the thing though, these girls have been so oppressed for so long, they do not speak up. That is, until they come home to me, where they just go on AND on about how people have screwed up their day. Get over it! You're not perfect, apparently neither are they! Get over yourself. I am constantly astounded by people with the opinions that the world is supposed to work for them, and if it doesn't, they know how to vocalize it. HULLO! Shocking, as it must be, you are not God's only creation. Trust me, the pictures much bigger than you. Stop putting up a pity party for yourself, and placing the blame on everybody else on how you turned out. Suck it up girl, toughen up, and try to understand the concept that you have accept the world, the world does not have to accept you. Ya its hard. Guess what, you don't have to decide whether or not you'll steal to eat, or to take your child of off Life Support, or whether or not you'll make it home alive today. So stop whining about dumb people forgetting to fill up your water cup, and stop placing all of your insecurities and lack of assurance on your parents. Be your own person. Forgive them for what they didn't give you, and go get it yourself. Your a big girl; if you don't want them to own you, then mentally you gotta move out and stop asking for their help! It just kills me the lack of autonomy and self purpose these girls have. If you whine one more time I'm gonna smack ya. Life could be so much harder, and you know what, its only gonna get worse. So buckle down and start looking for your sunshine. If you only notice the clouds, then how can you help another person to find the sun. Jeez Louise man. Sorry, I'll probably end up deleting this. But I promise myself, I will NEVER be like them. I will never be so caught up in the my miny horrors of life that I lose all power of self purpose and self mastery. And how can you do that if all you do is judge them for their faults and their flaws. Yes I am digging a hole here, and although they've both ttold me their horror stories growing up with teary half an hour stories, I don't know their life story and I don't know their internal struggles. They are wonderful beautiful daughters of God. I just, am not like them, and am tired of being bogged dwon with the never ending-relentless continuous wave of negativity and dronage.

And WHERE were you in high school?

So, looks like I have men. What witchcraft is this??? The worse thing is that I wonder if its how Satan is trying to get to me, so I worry that  I'm gonna get back and have no one looking for marriage when I'm actually looking for it! Ah well. I figured I'd give you a fast update.

1. Aaron: looks like I'm still gonna go on dates with. Ya, not sure what to say here. He's my best friend. Who knows after that?
2. Dane: met carving pumpkins at megan. SUPER flirtatious, and pretty dang cute!! Looks like a younger version of Neil Caffrey. No idea, but at least didn't ditch after mentioning mish!
3. Sean: met at Homecoming Dance. Gone "out" twice. Eh not really my type, but its fun cuz he's totally chill with just being whatever with me, so that makes sense right? =)
4. Jeremy: Gave a bloody nose swing dancing. Super flirtatious, like over the top. Nice guy, but not really any chemistry between me & him.
5. Dave: Dang good dance partner, but kinda has a little creeper feel towards him. Sorry. Got nothing. Says im not his type, but he kinda won't leave me alone.
6. Brayden: Only see swing dancing. Nice, but same thing, no chemistry, plus mish.
7. Jonathon: Sweet kid, cute & tall. That's all he's got goin for him, no personality...
8. Clayton: Where are you kid? Who are you? Who am I? Guess we'll never know! Sorry Dad.

But hey, I didn't have half this number a year ago. So yes, not huge, but I have some masculinity in my life! Keep ya updated

Feelin right vs Doing right

When you fall in love for the first time, it's the best thing in the world. You love him, he loves you, its stars all  around. This is the time to be selfish and drink up every moment. Then, you eventually marry, and it is harder. Not because of money, or occupations, or children. But because now It is all around selflessness. You soon figure out the code-Happy wife=happy life. Happy boy=life's a joy. But when your dating, being both selfless AND selfless are crucial. Hard, hard, hard. Now, being selfish includes giving yourself only to a person who "is worthy of you" and has your same standards. This is hard, because it requires patience. Being selfless proves to be just as hard if not harder, because it requires endurance. Someone will love you, and you care about them, treasure them, and need them. But you don't love him. Maybe you do, but because the timing is wrong, you can't allow your heart to consider whether or not he could actually be the one. True selflessness is being able to do the right thing when you know its not gonna feel right. It will cut you to the core, and that lonely ache in your chest will be your new companion for awhile. But, you always know that you've done the right thing is when you don't regret it. The hope that there is an even better option in the future is the flickering sunlight behind the mountains is what drives you to put the past behind you and turn and walk away.

October 19,2013. Random

Well, today I'm not feelin too much of anything. Just missin my boy... Who's the boy? I have no idea. I know someone who would be, but he's too close as my best friend, so I can't call him up anymore. I have no idea who my husband is, which is a good thing, but man I hope he has initiative and inspires me to get things done. I can't wait til I get on a mission cuz then I will feel like every single day I'm breathing I''m making a difference in someone else's life, even if it is just my comp. or my own. I'll finally be able to put my heart and soul to work and never get sick of it. Man, that's what I wish I had. I get to feeling so lazy, I don't want to do anything except mooch, and I do NOT wanna be that kind of parent, mine aren't like that and I hate that I am that way. I can't wait til the Lord puts me into work. It's not like I've had huge significant trial waiting. But it definitely was not what I was expecting, seeing I love being independent. But if I were to describe the hardest thing about waiting for a mission call, in one word I would say lonely. But I really hate whining, so I really am fine. It's just hard cuz the only person that understands what your feeling is the person your dedicating your life to, so you don't want to complain to Him. But its dumb cuz its not like I'm planning on getting married yet for the next little while, so it's not like I wouldn't be alone for the next year and a half. Man, guys really are never told how truly phenominal they are. Ah oh I love the priesthood, and I will forever admire them for their strength and their dedication and focus. Yes, we women are jewels, but you men are the gold that holds us together. Well there's my scattered thoughts for the day, not really wanting to delve into anything too deep today. Love ya, bye.

First time through Temple!

So I went through the Oquirrah Mountain Temple last Saturday, so the 12 of October, and received my endowments. I was worried, but it was so neat, and it felt so right. I was happy that nothing made me doubt, merely yearn to know & understand so much. My dad was super sick, but he was still able to be there, along with my mom who was my helper throughout it all. Also, other guests that came was Sid & her dad, Kim & Miguel, Jason and Heather, and Todd and Keri Russell. I was so glad they all were able to get into the session. It holds such a small group, but I feel like the Oquirrah Mountain is my temple in a way. I love it!!! The endowment is so neat, and so much to take in at once, but I have such a testimony and tender spot in my heart for the inititories. All I can say is nothing has ever felt so right and made me so happy. I was so worldy and worried and concerned and wierded out by the whole wearing garments concept, but honestly they feel so right. I feel like a better person who wants to continue to be made better. I physically seriously feel more beautiful, treasured, and protected. I feel separate from the world/ Virtuous and protected, that's how it makes me feel and I love the garments. I ever feel this pressing natural man inside of me, especially when I am trying on both old and new clothes that don't cover me in the way they need to anymore. But I'm doing my best to fight that. My boy will be attracted to the fact that I'm wearing garments, and worthy to. That sounds so weird, and I hope its not innapropriate to say, but that is such a turn on now!! I love it when guys bend over to pick something up and you see a little glimpse of their garment. Perhaps that's bad, and I really am sorry if it it, but I feel so happy and connected when I realize that they made the same covenants I did/ Foreals, its soooo cool! It is hard though, cuz now I know what people are missing out on. I just hope Brooke will go through, she really needs to. She needs to grow up, but don't we all? Well love ya, and take care.

Virtueous and Lovely

So I've come to realize how undervalued virtue is. Not saying that I've gone and done something to lose it, just the opposite, I've realized how much I treasure having that purity. Why is being being pure and being naïve. If your naïve, you are oblivious to the world, consequently you allow people to play with your mind simply because they know you won't understand. Being pure is recognizing the world's sin, and steering clear of it. Virtuous thinking, it shocks me how crucial that is to me. Stuff happens, and you find out what a defing feature virtue is. You have to focus on staying temple white kinda clean. You think or even see something and you've got a smudge. Its so easy to just rub it over and over in your mind, smear it around. That's what the natural man would do. My man won't. You have to bleach it, burn it right there, then focus on something that will turn it white again. You can't just ignore it, you must replace it. Being virtuous and pure is not something you can ever get, more its something that you become.

LDS music

I went to the Institute choir practice tonight, and boy have I missed music in my life! There's something about singing with 149 other people, who share the same passion and standards as you, and praising the very Maker who created  and loves each of us. And our teacher/instructor, Brother Salmon, I am halfway convinced he is one of the 3 Nephites. His passion just leaks from every word, every action he does, and he gets it. It all was so clear and transparent when he spoke about praising the prophet and praising our Lord. He knows what his purpose here is for, and I am convinced so will I. I want the power and the respect and the perspective he has. I want his dedication, devotion, and motivation he has. He has no clue who I am or what my name is, but truly, this stranger has inspired me. Nothing else bears witness of the Holy Ghost as does music. It'll catch you off guard and weave itself until it is knit around your heart and warms your soul. It can calm any woeful heart, but it can also wake you up like a cold slab of water. I'm not a professional, but honestly, I am convinced that anyone can gain a testimony through the witness of the Holy Ghost through song. Music truly is divine.

Love ASL! No, love the one who created it!

So I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed about having a Sign Language Mission. It is such a hard language, and so much of the church is not physical, which is what the majority of the language. What if I offend someone, and the whole deaf community doesn't like me and hates the church? Agh! I tried signing one of the articles of faith, and completely failed miserably. I was so discouraged. But I watched some LDS hymns online signed, like I believe in Christ, and from the children's hymnbook I Feel My Savior's Love. Instead of focusing on what I didn't know, I watched for what I did, and I copied the signer. And just a feeling of peace came over me.
Sidenote- I used to think having peace was one of the not-so-cool things of the Holy Ghost, just cuz its not this overwhelming feeling, and a voice or a vision or a burning of the bosom would be so cool. But yesterday in my Institute Mission Prep, Brother Evenson told us that peace was the best gift because it is the one thing that Satan is forbidden and cannot counterfeit. How cool right? The calming of the mind and of the spirit and of the heart is always a gift, and it is always from Him. We talked about how the Holy Ghost, before being baptized or away from the church, shows up in your life as lightning. Whereas, living in the gospel, its much more like having the sun out the whole time. The light of Christ is constant, and most of the time its just everpresent in your thoughts and mind. Yes, lightning seems at first more remarkable, but it is not constant, and we can't hlp lead the way for others if we constantly are waiting for "a flash."
I am so excited to Preach the Gospel of Christ. I shouldn't worry about who I'm going to teach it, or how I'm going to teach it. It is truth, and I treasure it, and people will be able to feel and sense the honest joy and happiness that the gospel has to offer. Yes, His servant will never fully be qualified to preach the message, but neither will the people receiving the message be. He knows that, and its because of our imperfectness that connects us all in our need for His grace. I can't wait.

Dumb blonde destined to Die alone!!

Dumb dumb dumb!! Well I just screwed up majorly on the one thing I love: swingdancing. I completely gave a bloody nose to some kid in my class whilst attempting to do some stupid lift. Ugh, why can't I be smaller/shorter/littler/more cooardinated!! Gag, well, that ruined that one! And on top of that, ugh, what I wouldn''t give to be able to have Aaron dance with me the entire time... bad bad bad, but man if I could always be my partner, we just, fit. Not good, I know, but just sayin, we dance great together.

Can he be funny AND gorgeous?

So I have my mission call. Wrote all about that on paper, its great. So, I know that things are supposed to be hard, I kind of expected them to be, I know its bad, but I kinda hoped they would be. So that way I could sort of prove that I was going to make a difference. Of course, Satan knows this, so he's done nothing, at least that's what I can tell. But I have noticed that I have become Sooo much more moody. I get irritated easily, and I have less motivation to do something productive... this is not good. Worst of all, Aaron seems to care so much, and Clayton is the exact opposite. The guy I have wants me afterwards, and I'm not sure I feel the same. Whereas, the guy I had before is going to settle down and marry before I even get back. Super! No, it easily might not work out with him, and that's okay, the older I get, the more I realize how little I knew about him and him with me. But just to know what would've happened!! Kills me. I don't feel that way about Aaron. He's different, and we have such a fun friendship, but we just don't quite,, mesh. I'm different, and not in a bad way, but to where there could be potential problems. I can't have someone with that silent confidence, and not so big an ego. I would rather not to be the wild one in a relationship;) I need someone crazy, but can help hold me down to earth. But boy, I was star-struck with Clayton's blue eyes, and his smile, and his voice. I just hope its possible to feel that much emotion towards someone who will treasure me & respect my friendship as Aaron.... and love me back. That might be a bit much to ask for, but I don't know. Ugh, I just, wish I could have him see me before I left, so he could see me grown up. We were so cute, but it was obvious that I loved him more. I wish I could just see him and see through a newer, more sensitive and perceptive perception. Aaron is fun cuz I feel I can predict him, but I hate having to always feel like I have to prove myself to him, like I have to be on my best behavior all the time, always coming up with something new and cool and unique. With Clayton, I could just be dumb, and he'd laugh about it with me. And he knew how to sweet talk~ Aaron has no clue. I've saved both of their texts, but for different reasons. Aaron's bring back memories, Clayton's bring back emotions and feelings. Jessica Ricks. Jessica Russell. Yup, definitely the latter... sad thing is, their both gonna be gone by the time I get back. Worse, I'd only care if one was still there once I get back. Ugh, why do I miss him? Imight just miss what we had, what I felt, so they tell me. It's just been so long, it scares me to feel anything when I know that he easily might not anymore. Stupid time. Time wares on everything in Mortality. It's either always moving too fast or too slow; it can never be satisfactory. I know I'll get married; its just this in-between stuff kinda is lame. Longing hurts so much more than dreading. Sorry babe, I'm so glad no one will ever see this other than myself. I'm too dramatic. I'm sure i'll give my great-great granddaughters a run for their money. I just beg my Father in Heaven that whoever I love will love me back with a love that drenches my love for him.

PS- you can't speak Sign Language

SO, I got my mission call- correction, the Lord's call- last Friday! Looks like I'm needed in San Fernando, California. Catch, you'll preaching in American Sign Language. This is perfect the "ideal mission" as my mom likes to call it. I need to know sign language for my major, Special Ed. I'm not going foreign, so my mom doesn't have to be concerned for me dying on my mission, right? California, gorgeous year round. My best friend Sydney wanted ASL speaking, so bad... so I should be thrilled about it right? Okay, don't start judging me, cuz I AM thrilled! It's just, k, judge me computer I dare you, but I don't do well with rich people. Send me to some humble people and I will love them. They have nothing, I have nothing, it works perfect. I feel comfortable with them and are welcome to share part of my soul with them. But, California, I'm near like HOLLYWOOD!! I can fake confidence, but these people are movie stars and I'm gonna kill them!!!! I don't want to share the gospel with these snotty-nose rich brats! They're not gonna want to hear me! Alma 26:11-I am nothing, but God is all so I will boast of my God. That's my scripture, that's me. How can I face these beach-blonde perfect worldy people and share a part of my tender testimony with them? They're NOT gonna want to listen to me,; I'm not like them. And yes, ASL is perfect for my major, that is great, but they don't understand!! The Deaf Culture is, so different. It's either I'm gonna make it in there or they're not gonna want to accept me at all. Sydney is better at signing then I ever was- so was Cory and Rachel. And even if I get good at it, because I know the Spirit can make marvelous things happen, I'm gonna have to leave these people. I LOVE people; I give 'em my heart. I'm not sappy, but I WILL love and protect and take care of them forever. Bring on the storm, I won't leave ya. But I'm gonna be traveling everywhere, and what if I have to give up people?? I don't want to give up investigators!! I can speak English, I know English, I feel confident that through the Spirit, I can bring in the right atmosphere to make them feel something. What if I have to give them up to "English speaking" missionaries? I just have to keep reminding myself that they are the Lord's children. If they reject me, they are rejecting Him. And they are His children, and I'm supposed to teach the ones He NEEDS me to teach, not who I want to teach. They are all His children. It's just, if I'm being honest with myself and you, I'm scared of a people that could so easily reject me. If I'm not good enough. If they don't catch my sincerity. I'm tough when I need to be, but I'm passionate and emotional ina way that I cannot NOT connect with you in some way. Its gonna be okay, no its gonna be great, I know that. And I love the Lord, specifically He gave me this mission because although it seems easy enough to everyone else, He KNOWS this is gonna work me through the fire, but I can't wait to see the diamond afterwords. Thanks, I love you Heavenly Father, and thanks, for knowing what I need, not what I desire.

Forget a Prince- I want a Man

As a kid of the 90's, I am one of the many who will forever treasure the Disney movies. Why are we so attached to these "kid movies" still twenty years later? Because of one constant factor that isn't compliant with reality, simplicity. There is always one princess, one prince, one villain, and one happy ending. It's perfect, innocent love that makes sense, and it always wins out in the end because its the right thing. This is when, in college, you cling more to these movies then ever, because, unlike real life, you know exactly how to get to that happy ending. Reality just has too many factors. You can love someone dearly, but they leave, and as much as you fight it, you can't help but fall in love again. How can you possibly know who is your true love? Notice, Disney skipped the beginning & most important part of a relationship, the friendship. One day they are strangers, the next day they have their first kiss, at the alter. Disney was smart this way, because now they have no background. No secrets, letdowns, pre-breakups, or mixed feelings. It's as black and white as the mouse that started it. Life, real life; now that's colorful. But its the color that makes it more meaningful. Its because you have so many chances & so many emotions that when you find your "one," you have a crazy-filled past that your future is A white canvas just itching to be splattered with more memories. It often sounds so much less romantic; I'd hands down always choose to ride off in a pumpkin carriage with a prince in white over grocery shopping at Smith's and sorting laundry while watching Ellen. But here's the thing, I don't want my scrapbook pages to end with a "Happily Ever After" immediately after the toss of my bridal bouquet. I'm not okay with a husband who only knows how to smile and fight a dragon. I want to have tickle fights over the remote, argue over who's turn it is to feed the baby, and tease about who's gonna need to get dentures first. I want my husband to have the power to calm my fits, and I better have the power to set him off. We'll burn meals together, get lost in the rain together, and laugh all the way through it. So ya, Disney does make falling in love seem easy and perfect, but if my true love was really that simple, it wouldn't be worth it.

True Aggie!... Not.

The past few days have been fun! It was both the Homecoming Dance and the Homecoming game. The dance was fun, and the whole time I wasn't sure whether not I was gonna become a "true aggie." I ended up giving one boy named Sean my number, and earlier a man had come up to me & complimented me on my dance moves, assuring me that lots of boys would want to help me become a "true aggie"... well that was a self-confidence booster!! However, I decided not to... why I can't quite bring myself. It was a two hour wait after midnight, and I didn't have any boys to go with, and I didn't want to make my roommate Keshele (who has never kissed a boy) wait for me cuz I drove... and then there was Aaron... who previously asked me not to, saying it would devastate him. I know I didn't do it for him though, I stopped myself for me. I didn't want someone who could care less about my name suckin on my face! Then the game was yesterday, Saturday. It POURED the entire time!!!! We ended the game 70 to 6 (the smooth quarterback slipped the ball and Weber grabbed it and made a touchdown, but missed the field-goal, so we still beat Utah's record against them). Me & Keshele toughed it out the whole time, and I gotta wear my sweet jacket. Today was our first day at church here, and it was nice... tooo bad its one boy for every 7 girls... =p Then celebrated Sam's 17 birthday. It was great.

Being blessed vs being guarded

Seven, it's  solid number. A week's seven days, the best shoe size, and about the time it takes to shave your legs. Yesterday, I was seven steps away to getting hit by a car. Reality check,.. actually, more like a reality face plant. I'm a few feet from the crosswalk when I hear a snap. Turn around, and there's a guy on the ground, skateboard snapped in half. I didn't turn cuz I heard the car screech, and the man never screamed. It was noise of that snap that turned me around . The man, getting up, never turned around, so I never saw his legs, or his hands, or his face. From the back, nothing seemed broken, but as he was ushered into the driver's car to go to the InstaCare, I noticed his broken skateboard laying on the side of the road. Walking away I had two thoughts in my head; what if it hadn't of been the skateboard, and God watches over his missionaries. Yes, God will give you bless you for doing righteous things, of this I have a testimony. But it's when you ARE righteous that you are guarded, watched, and protected over. This is why our Father doesn't want us to act as good people, he wants us to BE good people. It's funny how you'll never have time to hurry and do a good deed immediately before needing to reap that reward, that's why we need to do it everyday whenever we can. Then God's grace can protect us constantly, and not just a one time deal.

Country Cowboys

Swing dancing-also known as flying. For a random girl with way too much passion, its definitely too close to what I would think “being high” feels like. Let me rephrase that, it’s one of those moments that make up for all of  the crappy ones. When you wanna die, go swing dancing. I’ve danced with about four boys a few times, and I can truly only remember one name, NOT GOOD. In normal society, this would be quite offensive; in swing dancing, if you good & know how to smile, they’ll forgive you in a heartbeat. It’s really one of the only things I’ve ever REALLY loved AND been good at as well.

This leads up to what I’m grateful for today.. the priesthood. How do these connect? Simple- the male species=) While being away from home, it surprises me how much I’m reminded of what the priesthood does for boys. I mean, high school, yess, they are sweet & goofy & caring. But when they come back from a mission, holy tamole, it it UNREAL how different they are (in a good way). Now they get it! Unlike girls who’ve been dreaming to get married all their lonely lives, guys don’t even register this future commitment until after they’ve been smakcked around by the Lord for two years. But once they’re back, then they know what they want, or better yet, what they need! No more hotties, they are looking for good-wife material. Short tops & mini skirts aren’t cutting it for these men any more. So now that they finally see all of us cute-but-not-sexy-hot girls are the way to go (bout time!) they treasure you while still treasuring God. Girls, you KNOW your man is a keeper when he can baptize you and confirm you, and eventually, call you through the veil. That’s how mine will be: I want my man to be so strong in the gospel (though physical is a necessity as well) that he will drag yo kicking and screaming to the celestial kingdom. Its easy to sweep youd off your feet, but once you’re in their arms, you wanna make sure they can carry you to the temple. Otherwise, not worth it.